some times are so surreal they cannot be put in words or any medium that will hold them down.
i sit here. i have been reading a friend’s lovely blog. so full of life. it is ripe like the smell of north carolina when i’ve been away – air full of sweet water.
it is hot. it is ten o’clock.
i don’t understand what i’m doing or why, but i am unconcerned. my weird roommate is playing delightful riffs on the piano. he is playing a lovely version of one of my favorite songs – one of the only songs i can sing to, truthfully – the night they drove old dixie down, which i had never heard a version of save for joan biaz’ a capella version of it. this one is jazzy and carries its weight with a light-hearted sound. that’s what i want to be. or maybe is what i am.
a weight that carries its pain with ease. because the pain is part of the life.
my work for tonight is living. sorry projects. some changes need to happen in my life. i am done waiting for the time when i finish all the tasks… it will never happen. so i’m signing off. no more of them. i shall find a job that i like but that i do not carry with me all the time.
a good night.