Category Archives: Nuggets

wishes

everyday i check my email, hoping and wishing for some magic email from somebody that will change my life. i suppose i’m waiting for my fairy godmother. i open gmail with the tiniest hope and expectation of the unexpected that i once opened the mailbox with as a child – the way we all secretly hope for our letter from Hogwarts to arrive.

what if it did? what if i checked my email one day and there it was? a letter telling me i was magic! inviting me to come join a new world full of adventure and success, one where i didn’t have to worry about money – a world in which i could work hard doing the things i love, using my talents to stop evil and right wrongs worldwide. what does that look like? what does it take to receive one’s calling? in many ways, it is like a calling: a sudden understanding of what one is and what one wants to do.

i want mine.

if i list out my skills, interests and ideas on a sheet of paper, will a venn diagram determining my life’s mission suddenly emerge?

and what of anxiety? these days i feel that even when i’m motivated and have direction and feel like i know what i want, i then shrivel in a ball of anxiety. i’m not sure how to fix it. i’m not sure why it’s so hard for me. these days it’s even making me grumpy and angry. i want to lash out at those who are most helpful to me. i want to fight them and have the urge to yell at them for not being able to fix anything.

but instead i hide. and check my email repeatedly.

question

if you run into the same problem over and over with multiple people, you start to wonder if you’re not the problem. but how to fix it??